


Girl Crush

by darknarrie (orphan_account)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Moving On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-10 23:13:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12309894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/darknarrie
Summary: Niall went to Harry's LA concert and then Harry sang GIRL CRUSH in his next concert, why?





	Girl Crush

+

 **Don’t it feel fucked up we’re not in love**  

Niall has always loved Harry, he will probably always be a little bit in love Harry and that’s alright but he is trying to move on, trying to get away from this hold Harry has on his heart and he thinks this might be finally it. It’s been a lot time coming anyway, the band went on hiatus almost two years and he hadn’t seen Harry since the x factor when they went to support Louis.

Honestly he didn’t think it would take him this long to find someone who actually makes him happy but he hadn’t been looking really. He has been fairly busy with his album which was pretty much all about Harry anyways but now that it was done he felt it was time for him to move on, to be Niall Horan, not Niall from One Direction or NiallandHarry as they were to people closest to them but to be his own person.

Niall was sitting in his dressing room at his LA show, the sound check was done and he was about to get on stage but he couldn’t stop thinking about Harry, about how to tell him that he was moving. He had talked to Lily a few times on phone but they hadn’t met yet that’s why he had invited her to his Spotify show in LA. She had wanted to come to the Palladium too but he couldn’t meet her before he had seen Harry one last time where he didn’t belong to someone else.

**And oh, love, do you feel this rough?  
Why’s it only you I’m thinking of **

He finally finds the courage to pick up his phone and type a text to Harry.

_Hey. Good luck for your first show today. I was wondering if I could come to see ya at your show tomorrow also I need to tell you something and I would love to do it in person if you want to._

You are on in five Niall he hears someone say, Harry was obviously busy too with his own show in San Francisco, it was still so weird doing shows, going on stage solo without the boys next to him but they were growing up and they had all made peace with it, they had to because of Harry, he wanted this break more than anything and honestly there isn’t a One Direction without him. It had felt like a betrayal to Niall and they had never been the same after it and whatever they had ending too quickly. He comes out of his own thoughts, straps on his guitar, plasters on the smile he has perfected and goes on stage.

**I forget you’re not here when I close my eyes  
Do you still think of me sometimes?**

The stage has always been his safe place, his happy place, really the only thing that makes him happy is his fans and their love for him. He comes back into his dressing room still on a high from the show and he sees his phone light up, his heart almost stop. It’s him, he knows it’s him before he picks up his phone. He opens Harry’s text.

_Hi. I always want to see you. H._

It was done then he was seeing Harry tomorrow, he definitely wasn’t getting any sleep today but he should, he really should. His falls asleep thinking about how they used to be, how happy and how much in love but it was a long time ago.

+

Niall is nervous. He is very nervous and that’s why he takes Mully, Willie and Mark because he can’t see Harry alone he needs all the support he can get. He doesn’t see Harry before the show he prefers to do it afterwards because he knows what he is going to say to him is going to affect Harry and doesn’t want that right before his first big solo show in LA a city which has always mattered to Harry. The show is great, Harry was born for this and he can’t help but be proud of what he has achieved but during the show when Harry played What Makes You Beautiful he really had a hard time stopping his tears it was their first song together the one that changed their lives really, the one song they both have loved with all their heart. He didn’t think it was going to hit him this hard but it really did.

He is waiting in Harry’s dressing room waiting for him because Harry’s assistant asked him to wait there as Harry needed to meet some people and Niall didn’t mind he knew how this worked. He had already sent the rest home, he didn’t want anyone to see him after he meets Harry because he doesn’t know what state he might be in really.

_“Hi, Niall”_

Harry has always been his sun, his world has always revolved around Harry in some way or form and seeing him right in front of him alone, he doesn’t even feel real. He has this aura about him that has drawn Niall since he first laid his eyes of this beautiful curly dimpled boy who is very much a man now but Niall has never stopped being in awe of Harry’s beauty. Niall is really nervous now, he is pretty sure he is sweating and he rambles when he does get nervous. He isn’t even looking at him now just plain rambling.

_“Hi, Harry. The show was amazing. Congrats! You were great. You always have been. Born to be a rockstar weren’t you. Mully, Willie and Marv they all loved it, would have stayed to tell ya but they left. The band is amazing, it really is. I am so proud—“_

Harry’s arm wrap around him. He all but pushes himself into Niall and he feels so good. He feels like everything Niall’s been missing and his heart is pounding in his chest like it’s going to stop.

_“Hi.”_

Harry says again, his breath ghosting over his ear from where his face is pressed against Niall’s neck. They hold each other both not wanting to let go because it feels like comfort, like home. Niall knows he needs to tell him, he knows he has to let Harry go. He slowly unwraps his arms from around him and holds them.

_“I found someone—“_

_“Don’t say it, I don’t want to hear it.”_

Harry has this pained, angry look on his face that Niall hates. His eyes are all red now like he is trying to hold in his tears and Niall is probably mirroring him right now but he has to say it. He needs him to know.

_“Harry, I found someone who I think can make me happy, who can help me move on. I just need to tell you this now so you don’t find out from some gossip mag about her.”_

_“So it’s some bird?”_

_“Yeah, it’s a girl. You know there was always going to be one man for me.”_

_“Don’t say you found someone and then tell me I am going to the only man for you, Niall. You can’t say that.”_

_“Why can’t I? Why can’t I say what’s true? What will always be true?”_

_“Because it makes me—“_

Then Harry’s kissing Niall with all the intensity and pent up emotions. Niall feels like he is drowning in everything that makes Harry his everything. Niall can’t stop his lips are moving on their own accord like they are meant for this, meant to kiss Harry always. Harry’s hands are at his hips pulling them even closer together. Niall moans and Harry’s tongue slids into his mouth and he tastes like mint, like something so familiar that Niall can’t help but moan even more, both his hands are in Harry’s hair pulling him close. Harry has always had this maddening effect on him and why did he ever think this was going to be any different.

Niall’s phone starts ringing and it jerks him back to reality. Harry is a world of his own though kissing Niall’s neck, his jaw but as soon as Niall looks at him phone he goes still. It’s her, its Lily who is probably asking about their date tomorrow and he is standing here in Harry’s arms, kissing him.

_“It’s her isn’t her. Tell me it’s not her. Niall please.”_

_“I have to go.”_

Niall all but rushes out and as soon as he reach the door, Harry’s grabs him from behind and just holds him. He is crying, face pressed to his back and Niall can’t stop his tears from falling either.

_“Don’t go to her.”_

_“You have someone who is waiting here somewhere for you. Camille right? You have someone, you’ve moved on. Let me do the same.”_

_“I don’t care about her.”_

Niall turns around in Harry’s arms, he looks so innocent like this, his eyes filled with tears, cheeks all red and stained. It’s killing Niall to do this but he has to for both their sanities. Harry decided this long before and now they both need to live with their choices. He’s holding Harry’s face in his hands and gently rubbing his thumb over his cheek because no matter what he can’t see Harry crying.

_“Don’t look at me like that, I can’t leave if you keeping looking at me like this. I need to let you go Harry because I really need to start living my life and not just survive each day because for a long time it did feel like I was only surviving without you.”_

Harry closed his eyes, tears staining his beautiful face. He nodded his head slightly, his whole body going limp. He looks so broken and defeated, Niall felt the same but he has to leave now or he will never be able to.

_“I wish I was her.”_

_“Take care, Harry.”_

+

 **I got a girl crush  
** **Hate to admit it but**  
 **I got a heart rush**  
 **Ain’t slowing down**  
 **I got it real bad**  
 **Want everything she has**  
 **That smile and that midnight laugh**  
 **She’s giving you now**

Harry can’t stop thinking about Niall and Lily. He hasn’t stopped thinking about it since he saw a video on them leaving together after Niall’s Spotify show at the Troubadour which was always both his and Niall’s dream venue and they both played it but not together. It was one of the many things he had sacrificed for his solo career and the biggest one being Niall.

Niall had stayed a day longer in LA and didn’t come to Vegas when Harry was there, his band was there but he wasn’t probably avoiding him but who could blame him really. He deserved this, it was his own fault when he didn’t fight for their relationship. The hurt in Niall’s eyes when he said he wanted to take a break was something Harry will never forget but he needed it. He didn’t want to take a break from what they had but when Niall started distancing himself he hadn’t fought for them and let Niall go. The best thing that happened to him in years and he let it go like a fool that he was.

Harry wanted to be the one cheering Niall on, he wanted to be the one leaving with Niall after his show. He wanted to kiss Niall, feel his lips against his. He wanted to be in his bed, his sheets wrapped around them while he kissed Niall all over that beautiful body. He wanted to make Niall laugh with his stupid jokes which only Niall found funny. He wanted Niall. He wanted to be in her place.

 **I don’t get no sleep  
** **I don’t get no peace**  
 **Thinking about her**  
 **Under your bed sheets**  
 **The way that she’s whispering**  
 **The way that she’s pulling you in**  
 **Lord knows I’ve tried,**  
 **I can’t get her off my mind**

He wanted to tell the world and he told the world only way he knew how, with words. He sang “Girl Crush” at his Nashville show because the words could convey his feelings perfectly more than he could. He just hoped Niall listened to what was in his heart.

Niall’s tweet made him feel like he heard him. I felt something like a flicker of hope.

**“ oh love, do you feel this rough? whys it only you I’m thinkin of? ”**


End file.
